Big Dunc's Space

Quads FC kicked off the new season in impressive style by going two games without loss. Quads have had the luxury of a somewhat easy start to the season by kicking off with two new teams whose inexperienced showed, especially in the first game against The Lake who conceded their first goal within the first 30 seconds of the kick off, which could be the quickest goal scored in the Thursday League. Quads romped to a 3-0 win against their first opponents, goals coming from  Jimmy Mag, Simon (myself) and Andy Byrne. The second game was more impressive as Quads once again showed the dogged determination and overcame a stupidly titled team called Some Team 4-0. Goals this time came from new outfield sensation "Tall" Paul Davies, two from Davey Les and the last from Andy Byrne who had squandered a number of opportunities in the first half. Quads sit joint top being the only team in the league not to concede a goal, and taking an impressive defensive record on from last year.

 

Quads play another stupidly named team Strutting Peacocks this Thursday at 8pm in Pensby and hope to take their tally to three in three and continue on course to win the league.

Wow, its been a while, almost two months in fact. Well anyway, whats happened in the life of Simon? The answer unfortunatly is not much! I have discovered the wonder that is MySpace, that is about the highlight! Quads FC failed in their bid for promotion and Cup glory. The new season kicked off last night with an easy 3-0 win against newcomers The Lake, with goals coming from Jimmy Mag, The Gaffer, and Andy Byrne.

 

Christmas was quiet, spent with friends and family as all Christmas' should be. New Year, was of course, shit! Although a lot of fun was had watching Quirky smashing pint glasses and pushing over a gay lad for coming onto him. Also special mention for the wrestling match between Jimmy Mag and Mikey Ray, and Mikey Ray being violently ill on the way home! Class!

Quads FC have as good as cemented their place as runners up after last nights great victory against third placed Fergy's. Quads who will now find themselves three points ahead and a game in hand of the new holders of third place Inter Prenton, whose late flurry has earned them an outside chance of promotion. With two games left to go against early contenders Mofo and League Winners FC Village finishing second isn't as bread and butter as it seems. However if Quads played the way that they did last night they should have no problems going the rest of the season unbeaten, and gaining a measure of revenge against both teams. Mofo, who Quads have already played twice this season, defeated Quads in the league when 5 of the 7 team members where on holiday 5-1, but where soundly defeated in cup competition in a one sided 2-0 victory from The Quads. Quads have only faced FC Village once this season and were on the wrong end of an unlucky 1-0 scoreline.

 

Last night Quads fell behind against the run of play to a superb goal from the Fergy's centre forward. Quads managed to pull back an equaliser at the end of the half through a free kick from in form midfielder Andy "Full Name" Byrne. After the break Quads resumed the attack Fergys goal and it was mere seconds before they went 2-1 ahead. After a big kick from Keeper Jeff "Safe Hands" Squires deceived the opposite keeper, the bounce took it over the hapless keeper and into the roof of the net to make it 2-1. After that Fergys looked a shell of their former selves as the Quads front line ran the Fergys defence ragged. Multiple opportunities fell to The Gaffer, Van Leslie (who had an immensly impressive performance) and Byrne who couldn't capitalise on the Fergys capitulation.

Midway thorugh the second half the Gaffer took himself off for a quick rest and Fergys managed to pull it back with a second excellent strike. This was goal of the season contender and left Squires, Ray and Rees unable to offer any resistance. Quads had found themselves pegged back and the fans were half expecting an upset against the run of play. Alas, that was not to be as from a corner one of the Fergys defenders who looked like a PoW after being captured in one of the worst battles in history conceded a penalty. The luckless defender thought that he could get away with encroaching in the area by claiming that he had "Fallen" into the area, much to the amusement of the Gaffer on the sidelines who quipped: "Isn't that how they're all conceded?"

The penalty was despatched with precision by newly fit Jimmy "Bleeder" Mag who has now scored two goals since his return to action. Quads managed to hold on to the lead till the end and were never really threatened. A special mention should go to the defensive trio of Mikey "Bekenbauer" Ray, Gally "White Titus Bramble" Rees (ED - sorry Rees, found it quite funny!) and Jimmy "European Appeal Court Denied My Right to Die Due To An Ugly Face" Mag, who restricted Fergys to boring long ball tactics and their only threat, being passing it to the big lad up front.

 

This victory will taste all the sweeter if Quads can manage to grab a point out of the next two games which will ensure their runners up place in the league. They will then be able to concentrate on the Quarters of the cup and the lucrative fixture against second in Division 1 Banana Shots.

Quads FC proved their critics wrong once again with a resounding 5-1 win against strugglers Omega. The game seen many highlights including a magnificent hat trick from out of form Midfielder Andy "Purple Aki" Byrne who hopefully after this game has found his form that has catapulted him for Player of the Season contender. Jimmy "I Got Raped by Arrowe Park GP's" Mag signalled his return to fitness with a magnificent goal after he broke down the right wing to convert a cross into the bottom left hand corner. The hapless Omega 'Keeper's night was topped off even more from an absolute breath taking strike from leading scorer Dave "Le Tissier" Leslie. Dave picked the ball up from his own half and unleashed an outragious effort that 'megged the keeper to top the score 5-1. Omega never really threatened the goal, and got a consolation goal back when it was 3 with a mixture of disasterous defending from The Gaffer and goal hero Byrne.

 

Although it was a much improved display from the previous weeks (some players were saying that this was the best Quads FC gane this season), and even tho Quads were missing two players, there is still room for improvement. Andy Byrne put an over all good performance was believed to have received a stern telling off from the Gaffer before the game, however Magner refused to reveal too much of what was said between the two, he said:

 

"I sat down with Andy earlier in the week and just told him that i expected more from him. He responded in magnificent fashion. Although he got a hat trick he can still offer us so much more and needs to concentrate on the simple easy things instead of the end product all the time. Most of our creative play comes from Andy and Dave so it is important that they both have a good game for us, if one is poor it reflects on the other and the whole team suffers"

 

Next week Quads have some demons to banish when they play 3rd in the league Fergy's who were suprisingly beaten by in form team Inter Prenton who are in contention of finishing runners up, a position that has long been coveted by Quads FC. In the reverse fixture earlier in the season Fergy's romped to a 5-1 victory which supprised everyone watching as Quads easily had the most possesion and chances but couldn't come out on top. If they win, Quads will be four points clear of Fergy's who depending on Inter Prenton's result would drop to fourth in the league with a game in hand.

 

Team Name P W D L F A GD Pts 1 FC Village 13 12 1 0 52 13 39 37 2 Quads FC 13 8 1 4 32 19 13 25 3 Fergy's 14 7 3 4 49 31 18 24 4 Inter Prenton 14 7 1 6 36 42 -6 22 5 Mofo FC 12 6 2 4 32 25 7 20 6 Unilever 13 6 2 5 28 28 0 20 7 Moreton FC 13 3 2 8 22 32 -10 11 8 Omega 14 2 0 12 26 52 -26 6 9 White Review 12 2 0 10 14 49 -35 6

I have had a pretty fucking up and down 7 days. I'm not even going into the negative aspects of the last 7 days except for a disappointing week for Quads FC being beaten by mediocre Unilever and a hung over and tired Quads being beaten by a hybrid of White Review 3-2. No excuses for these two games. We controlled both games, certainly the Friday night game in the first half, we should have done better and didn't. We need to raise our game this week against Omega (bottom of the league). We have Matty Ray (Broken Arm) and Reesy (Date Rape Case) out of action this week and are down to their bare bones. Recall for "Tall" Paul "Number 10000000001" Davies are in the pipe works.

 

The plus points are definatly, PLUS. Sunday my 11-a-side team Claughton Village Hotel (Division 4) ran out worthy 2-0 victors against Division1 team Rangers Breaks in the Houlihans Cup. We have been drawn against either Irby or Sandbrook at home.

The next high was amazing. Two of the best nights i've had in a long time. Me and my retarded brother James went to both WWE Raw and Smackdown! events in Manchester. These were class nights. Love them or hate them, but the yanks, and the WWE in particular certainly know how to put a show on for the people. I will try to upload the decent pictures later on tonight, and also some class vids that i've got, probably onto my myspace account, which should be found on www.myspace.com/BigDunc1982 <- apologies if this link doesn't work.

 

Peace out homies!

Tomorrow night is Reesy appreciation night. Two weeks ago we had Mika and Gaffa Appreciation night where the Quads FC team ventured into unknown territory of Lago's and Heebie Jeebies in Liverpool City Centre which was a greatly enjoyed night by one and all. Tomorrow after the customary vigil to Slaters after the important cup tie against Unilever, the team will move onto Chalk and Cheese which is themed night in the Office bar in Concert Square, Liverpool.

 

In related news, Quads FC will be without the injured Jimmy Mag who is still nursing injuries from his horrific rape case that has shocked the Quads community. Due to the injuries caused, Jimmy is currently abstaining from anything alcoholic or acidic and also quitting the cigarettes. He was quoted as saying the other day "The doctors can ask me to give up anything and i will agree. However i will not, WILL NOT give up the Quad!"

 

Quads FC are anxiously waiting the return of the legend whose ugliness proceeds him in the footballing world.

Ok, i haven't posted for a while again, I've been lazy! A quick update:

 

Quads are now in the process of consolidating their position second in the league with a couple of strong performances against White Review (6-2) and Inter Prenton (2-0). The title looks a little beyond Quads grasp at the moment as FC Village are 6 points ahead with a game in hand. The only hope Quads have is if disaster strikes in the Village camp and the gang from Bromborough begin to drop points. Quads will not lie down lightly, with games against the "Top Three", Village, Mofo and Fergy's coming up, they will do their best to show their mettle and try and push Village to the very end if possible. With six games left in the league, Village can have the league wrapped up in three games time.

 

In their time as Claughton FC in the Tuesday and Wednesday Soccer Sixes they (Quads) were considered to be the best team in the league not to win a piece of silverware. With a very slight hand on the title it seems that it could be a bridge too far again this season. The only chance that Quads have is in the cup were they could be handed a lucrative tie against one of the top teams in Division 1. With the fact that last season Fergy's won the cup, Quads will fancy themselves to maybe pick something up this year.

 

In related news, Jimmy Mag has been ruled out for three weeks at the moment for a possible rape case. Jimmy spent four nights in hospital where he was sexually abused by many of the top doctors in England only to be released and be sexually abused by Davey Les and the Gaffer. At the moment he is resting and will hopefully be fit for the last three games of the season (Fergy's, Mofo and FC Village).